


His Anchor

by Rachel_Lu



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mentions of the past, Nightmares, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Sharing a Bed, small argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 01:30:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10934181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel_Lu/pseuds/Rachel_Lu
Summary: John's family's tragic death haunts him in sleep even years and years after it happened, and all Rose wants to do is protect him from the nightmaresPrompt fulfilment for doctorroseprompts weekly prompts





	His Anchor

They hadn’t been dating for very long, though they’d been friends forever.  Or, at least, it really felt like they’d been friends forever.  Ever since he had to move in with his Aunt and cousin after his parents died.  She’d lived right next door to Sylvia, Donna, and Wilf, so when a boy a year older than her moved across the street, her interest was piqued.

Rose watched him as he shuffled around, getting ready for bed.  He closed his laptop and put his glasses on and took his glasses off restlessly.  She shut her book and leaned forward on the couch.

“John?”

“Yes, love?”

“Are you alright?” She stood and crossed the living room to stand in front of him.  He smiled at her, and it looked a little forced, but she knew he was making an effort, and that was a good sign.  Sometimes he just closed off, and shut her down, and she was glad he wasn’t doing that now.

“Yeah,” He said softly, “I’m alright.”

“No, you aren’t,” she cupped his cheek.  “What can I do?”

He shook his head and then pushed into her touch, his eyes falling closed.  She took this as another good sign and stroked her thumb over the apple of his cheek, waiting for him to speak.  He opened his eyes into hers and lifted a shoulder.  

“There’s nothing you can do,” he said softly, “Just something I have to deal with.”

She kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tight.  He sighed and melted against her, his arms wrapped around her waist, nose pressed to her neck.  She let him hold her as tight as he liked, which, more often than not, was very very tight.

“I love you,” she said helpfully.

“I love you, too.”

She gave him another tight squeeze and pulled back a little.  “You off to bed, then?”

“Yeah,” he replied, nodding a bit.  “Are you coming?”

“I’ll be there in about ten minutes,” she promised him.  “That okay?”

“That’s perfect,” he kissed her forehead and drew back.  “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

She worried about him an awful lot.  He saw therapists, but none of them had helped yet.  They kept trying, though, because Rose was insistent on it.  John agreed that it was easier to deal with his issues when he was talking to a professional, and she encouraged it wholeheartedly.

Sometimes, though, he just needed to hold her, to keep her close for awhile, and she could never, and would never, tell him no to that.  

So ten minutes later exactly she went back to their bedroom and looked at him, sleeping curled up on his side.  She shut their door behind her, knowing that he liked to have it shut, and to be fair, she did too.  It made them both feel quite safe.  

She crawled into bed next to him, and tugged the covers up.  After kissing him on the cheek, she cuddled up next to him, her leg and arm thrown over him.  He must have still been awake, because he hummed and rolled over in her arms, dragging her up against him.  

They both fell asleep and she thought for just a moment that they would have a peaceful night, as most of their nights were.  She was wrong.

She was awakened by John shouting, and the bed moving with the trembling of the man next to her.  He was clearly in the throes of a nightmare, and she was all the way awake instantly.  She threw herself on top of him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her whole body pinning his to the bed. 

“I’m here,” she whispered into his chest, grabbing one of his hands and forming her words against the skin of his palm.  “I’m here, John, and I love you, and you’re safe.”  
He shot up into a sitting position, his arms going around her shoulders.  He was trembling wildly, she could feel his shakes going through her whole body.

“Tell me what happened?” She said softly, like the counselor that had been the most effective said she should do.  It would be easier for him to talk to her than anyone else, after all, and she should be able to hear the rough stuff. 

“My family,” he croaked out, “I saw them, in the fire, and I couldn’t do anything about it.  I tried to move, tried to get to them, but I couldn’t, oh,  _ God,  _ it was like reliving it.”  he was rambling, everything trailing together into one sentence that wasn’t quite coherent.  “My family, my family, Rose, what if the universe takes you too?  What if I’m not allowed to have you?  I watched them burn, I can’t watch you burn.”

“You’re not going to,” she said firmly.  “I am always going to be here with you.”

“It’s my fault.”

“John Smith, don’t you dare say that to me,” she sat back and stared down into his eyes, which glinted with tears in the darkness. “You were six years old.  You left the house because you knew it wasn’t safe, you were just a kid.  You called the police, John, you did everything right.”

“But it wasn’t enough.”

“And that is  _ not  _ your fault.”

He gently deposited her back on the bed and got up, and went to the drawers.  He started pulling out his t-shirts and settled them on the counter.

Rose furrowed her brows at him. “What on earth are you doing?”

“I’m leaving.”

Her heart fell into her stomach and she choked on an immediate sob.  “Wha- why?” She stood and went to him, but he wouldn’t look at her. 

He took a deep breath and leaned onto their dresser, his shoulders by his ears. “Because you deserve someone who doesn’t wake you with nightmares on random nights twenty years after an incident happened.  You deserve a man who can comfort  _ you,  _ not one you have to comfort all the time.”

“And if not me, then who?” She demanded.  “You are not a burden to me, John, I can’t- I won’t live without you.  Look at me.”

He did, reluctantly, and she set her jaw, trying to keep any more tears from escaping. 

“John,” she said clearly, “I love you.  I don’t love you because our relationship is perfect, I love you because  _ we  _ are  _ real.   _ We fight and we make mistakes and sometimes you have nightmares, but all I know is that I do not want to be without you.  I don’t want anybody else.”

He broke down completely then, his hands over his face.  It was always leading to this, she realized, a catharsis that had to wash over his whole body.  She hugged him, her cheek to his shoulder.  She waited as he cried, simply standing with him, being close to him.  She felt her heart break for him until he turned and hugged her back, pressing his face into her hair.

“Let me comfort you because I want to,” she said softly, “Not because I feel like I have to.  Let me love you the best way I know how.”

“I love you,” he choked on the words, but they were clear, even through his sobs. “I love you, and I don’t tell you enough.”

“Yes you do, and I know you do,” she promised, leading him back to bed.  “Lay down, we’re going to go to sleep now, but first I’m gonna get you a glass of water.  Understand?”

“Yeah,” he sat up in bed as she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

After she’d given him a glass of water and he’d drank enough for her to be satisfied, she burrowed under the covers with him, and they held each other close.  

He thought she was asleep when he quietly whispered to her, “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

She pressed a kiss to his throat and cuddled closer, much to his surprise.  “And you’re mine.”

“Yeah.  I am.”

She whispered her forever love to him as she fell asleep, taking him with her.  And he slept through the rest of the night, clinging to his anchor.


End file.
